Turning 35

alberty111 | Feb. 23, 2025, 9:25 a.m.

I just got back from China after spending four weeks at home with family and friends during Chinese New Year. It was a fun time, but one topic kept coming up when hanging out with friends my age: turning 35 and how time seems to go faster than it did when we were young. I’ve been reflecting on my journey so far—what has changed since I was young, and what it means to be 35 now. Here are some thoughts:

About My Hometown:
When I was young, I always wanted to escape the city I was born in. It’s an outdated steel industrial city that used to be economically competitive. My family was poor when I was growing up, but our financial situation improved over time. One thing my family always had, though, was love. My parents loved each other and loved me, so my childhood memories are filled with warmth and happiness. I always dreamed of moving to a big city or going abroad to see a world that I imagined would be so different from my hometown. Eventually, I went to France for my Ph.D. and now work in Belgium. Objectively, these places are very different from my hometown, but subjectively, I’ve realized that as long as there are people, the experiences are ultimately the same. I never used to feel homesick when I was younger, but this time, when I flew back from Beijing to Brussels, I actually missed home and started looking forward to my next vacation there.

About My Parents:
I have two wonderful parents who raised me to be a kind person. I think everyone goes through similar stages with their parents: obeying them, rebelling against them, not understanding them, pitying them, understanding them, and eventually becoming like them. When I was young, I used to ask for expensive things that my family couldn’t afford at the time. When I was refused, I would feel sad and tell myself that I should never end up in the same situation as my parents. However, I never blamed them for it. I think that’s one of my strengths—not blaming others for things beyond their control. I always remind myself to cherish the time I spend with them.

About Friends:
I spent time with friends from college, high school, and middle school during my trip. I used to accept every gathering invitation because I didn’t want to upset anyone. Now, however, time feels more precious, and I want to make the most of it. I only hang out with people who I feel have a healthy and worthwhile relationship with me. This might be one of the reasons people drift apart as they grow older.

About Love/Marriage:
I had a memorable experience when studying in France and in Dalian, where I learned a lot from it. I used to be so stupid and naive when I was young, but now I think I want to have a family and raise some kids. But they say love is something that can be met but not sought. I would say I probably need some luck there for my future life.

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